How To Move To Cape Town Alone (And Build A Life Worth Staying For)
Every August, we commemorate Women's Month with the usual round of tributes: the trailblazers, the founders, the ones who interrupted the status quo.
They’re all worth celebrating. But there's a different kind of courage that tends to go unmentioned – the woman who packs up her life, boards a plane or a bus or loads up a hatchback, and lands in a city where she knows precisely no one. No family down the road, no friend to call when the geyser bursts, just a new set of streets and the daunting, exhilarating task of building a life from scratch.
Cape Town is full of these women. We spoke to one of them.
Nons Mshengu is the founder of Project HER, an initiative tackling period poverty through sustainable sanitary kits and education for girls. She's also, as it turns out, a woman who arrived in this city with no community whatsoever and went on to build one – first for herself, and then for hundreds of others. Her story is a good place to start.
Leaving Durban
Nons didn't originally plan to stay in Cape Town. She was born and raised in Durban (where her whole family still lives) and initially came to the Western Cape for university. But after graduating, she landed her first job in the city, fell for it, and made the call to stay. It was, by her own account, a big choice to make.
“I knew that I had outgrown my home town and could not envision myself creating a life for myself there,” she says. “Especially not a life that would make me feel fulfilled and happy.” In her early twenties, the goal was simple: to have fun and be independent. “Little did I know that I would end up finding myself and my purpose as well.”
That's the thing nobody tells you about moving somewhere alone. You go looking for freedom, and occasionally you stumble into meaning.
The Olympic sport of apartment hunting
Ask anyone who's done it, and they’ll tell you that the first few months alone in a new city are less a montage and more a slog. Nons is refreshingly honest about it.
“Oh my goodness, just thinking back to it feels so nerve-wracking,” she says. “I was excited, but there was so much I had to figure out, and it doesn't help that apartment hunting in the city is an Olympic sport.” (Any Capetonian reading this just nodded grimly.) What followed was a familiar gauntlet: “bad roommates, making new friends who didn't quite fit and lots of late nights questioning myself."
The turning point wasn't dramatic. It was, if anything, wonderfully mundane. She started doing the things that made her happy, and the right people appeared alongside them. “That is eventually how I built my community, by making meaningful connections with people that had the same values and interests as I did.”
Where did she find them? Volunteering weekly at a soup kitchen, a church where she felt seen and supported, and, tellingly, by working remotely from somewhere other than her own four walls. “Neighbourgood has an incredible Work Club, and they host amazing community events such as games nights, movie nights, and overall just fun vibes, which I attended weekly and met the best people!"
There's a lesson buried in that story: community rarely finds you at home. You have to go and stand where it gathers.
A mission that finally found its home
Project HER wasn't born in Cape Town, exactly, but it grew up here. Nons had carried the idea since she was young; she just hadn't found a home for it until she arrived.
“Cape Town is an incredible city because it is absolutely buzzing with so much innovation and entrepreneurial energy,” she says. “Everyone you meet is building something or working on something; it's so inspiring.” That energy gave her the confidence to finally act on something that had been sitting in her heart for years. And crucially, it came at a moment when collaboration was the default setting. “I have been so lucky to be fulfilling the mission at a time when everyone wants to collaborate and work together.”
From no support system to building one
It's hard to miss the symmetry here. A woman arrives with no support network and ends up dedicating herself to building one for other women and girls. Nons sees the connection clearly.
“I moved here with no friends and no family. I had no community, and it was easily the loneliest time in my life," she says. So when she built Project HER, she built it around exactly the thing she'd once lacked. The fundraising happens through community events by design. “I think now more than ever it is so important to have spaces where women can connect, form true bonds and enjoy themselves in a safe space. The fact that they can do all that whilst also supporting a meaningful cause is the cherry on top.”
The results speak for themselves. Women who've met at Project HER events have become friends. Some have formed business relationships. “I have met some of the loveliest and most generous women through Project HER,” she says. "I love that it emphasises the essence of Project HER – true girlhood.”
The part nobody warns you about
Every relocation story has a fine-print clause nobody reads to you in advance. For Nons, the hard part is a warning about scale. “It's a big city; it's very easy to lose yourself in a big city. You need to really remain grounded in who you are and your value system so you 'don't get lost in the sauce' as the kids like to say.”
The unexpectedly good part? Cape Town, she reckons, plays fair. “It's one of the easier cities to make a meaningful life for yourself. There's no invisible red tape, no 'cooldrink money' and for the most part, no rooms you cannot get into with enough willpower and determination.”
For the woman still working up the courage
It's Women's Month, and Nons has built a career out of creating spaces for women to show up for one another. So we asked her the obvious question: what would she say to a woman sitting somewhere else right now, working up the nerve to make the big move?
Her answer needs no editing:
“Do it. Do it scared. Do it nervous. Do it even if you don't have a plan. Okay, have a small plan, but everything else will really figure itself out. I think the best stage you can ever have as a woman is creating your own life in a new city, living alone and on your own terms. There will be hard days, and there will be days when you're extremely homesick, but there will never be a day when you regret it. Your future self will absolutely thank you.”
If you're making a similar move, Neighbourgood's Work Club is a solid place to start finding your people. Don’t be shy - drop by for a community event and come say hi!
